I’ve been making changes over the past year, and in a sense, finding out who I really am, both on the inside and the outside. For me, it really depends on the day, as my personality really has a duality all its own. It’s really hard to describe, but I have both yin and yang going on inside, and sometimes whoever gets to the awake door first wins. It’s been like that for a very long time, and there have been times I’ve been forced to suppress my femme side, and just hide it away from everyone – this has led to many down days when I just feel trapped and can’t get loose. Most days though, it’s been very easy, and I have a lot of supportive friends to thank in that regard.
My core being hasn’t changed though – just the outer layers of the persona and the outer trappings. Some people may think it as silly, weird, or whatever – I don’t care anymore. I’m just tired of having to live someone else’s life, and not my own. I’m working on taking better care of myself and getting into the shape I want to be in. It’s interesting that while I haven’t lost much weight, I haven’t gained any either – yet my body seems to be adjusting to the way I want it to be regardless. I’ve gotten a couple more curves in places there weren’t before – I guess we’ll see how that ends up. I haven’t started any new regimens or taken anything to bring about these changes, but I think it’s more of mind over matter.
Some have asked me if I want to change through surgery or other things – I don’t really see any need, as what I am now doesn’t require it. I’ve changed my outlook on life and the things I find important, and the things I want to pursue. I want to enjoy the finer things in life that are easily attainable, and it seems to have come easier than before too.
So here is my journey. You’re welcome to come along for the ride, but as I always say….if you don’t like what you hear or read, there are other places to be. 🙂
I’m happier now.