People have said all through history that closure is a pretty important thing. It provides an end to a chapter in your life – a finale to a relationship – an explanation for why things happened the way they did.
Of course, sadly, closure is not always available in a ready-to-mix formula for digestion. In some cases, it’s m0re out-of-print than trying to find a copy of your favorite obscure 80’s album.
What do you do when closure cannot be found in an issue. Do you live with the pain? Do you live with the uncertainty? Or do you just say “It’ll never be solved, so I’ll just close the book and tuck it away”? In my case, it seems the third option is the only one available to me.
It’s something I should have done a LONG time ago – back when it actually happened. I was 15 at the time, and I had just moved back home from living out at YBGR campus for 2 years (long story, but a lot of good came out of it). When I got back home, I looked up a girl I had known for years and was anxious to meet up with her again. When I did though, she told me that she couldn’t be around me anymore…and then just closed the door.
No explanation – no apologies – just a door in the face. How is one really supposed to deal with that type of issue? I tried reaching out to her again, but again was rejected out of hand with no explanation – no apology – nothing.
As far as I knew, I had DONE nothing wrong against this person, yet she treated me like I was the living embodiment of the Antichrist.
Even if I wouldn’t have agreed with the explanation, it would have been SOMEthing, but that wasn’t even offered.
For years, this has sat in my memory like a giant, gaping wound, filled with the uncertainty of trying to find out what on Earth I had done that was so horrible to this person that she would just boot me out of her life without any reason at all.
Over the years, I had just learned to accept this, and had no choice but to move on. A number of years later, I found the perfect woman to be with, and have been happily married ever since, so all in all things worked out for the best in the end, and I couldn’t be happier.
I still have some small, slim hope that someday I’ll be given an explanation as to what happened those many years ago, but the chances of that happening are slim to none at best. I guess she found the event easier to deal with than I did.