I have done a number of jobs in my life, each one having their own stories to tell. Some I remember some legendary moments from as well. Since I feel my need to write rising, but have no story ideas in mind, I thought I would share a few memorable ones.
The Too-Late Gamer
This took place at a “big blue box store” back in 1998 in Lakewood, CO, shortly after I moved to Denver. I was working the returns desk, which if you have a very good sense of sarcasm and a diamond-hard backside to let the verbal abuse slide off of you, is the PERFECT place to amuse yourself with the failures of humanity. When checking returns, you have to check to see if they have their receipt, and if the return is actually valid.
Person in question comes up to the counter and plops a white paper bag on the counter. “I want to exchange this”.
I look inside the bag to find a dusty, well-used Sega Saturn system in the box. Stickers are applied to the unit as well, meaning it probably came from the kids’ room or family room.
Me: How may I help you with this, sir?
SC: I want to trade this for a Super Nintendo system
(bear in mind at this time, the system he wanted cost $200)
Me: I’m sorry sir, but I cannot make that trade for you.
SC: Why not?
Me: Well, you need a receipt for electronics exchanges, the time limit to do said exchanges is 90 days, and Sega stopped making this unit three years ago.
SC: So……you’re not gonna do it for me?
Me: I’m sorry, but I can’t.
SC: Well…….get me your manager then!
I went and got the assistant manager for him, although I knew our policies, and I was in the right. I was confident that the manager would back me up. My confidence was horribly shaken. Why? He DID THE EXCHANGE!
I asked him afterwards “Why did you let him get away with that?” His response? “It’s good customer service.”
My brain died a little bit that day. I don’t think it ever recovered.
Frosty The Pizza Guy
As anyone who has ever lived in Montana will tell you, the winters here can get downright brutal. Probably not as much nowadays as they used to, but I still remember them. I was closing one night at the pizzeria when I got a call at 11:02pm:
SC: I want to order a pizza to have delivered.
Me: I’m sorry, but we are closed for the night.
SC: By my watch, it’s 10:50, so you have to deliver for me!
Me: By our clock, it’s 11:02, so we are closed, ma’am. Besides, at this time of night with the roads the way they are, to get a pizza to your address, it would take about an hour.
SC: Well, I wanna speak to your supervisor.
Me: Ma’am, I am the supervisor.
SC: Well, you don’t know customer service! *click*
Douche. This was also the evening when deliveries were taking on the general about an hour due to roads, but they would call and gripe after 30 minutes.
My Movie Is More Important Than Your Health
I did not experience this one first-hand, but rather a good friend of mine told it to me when he was working at the movie theatre.
They had a ticket-taker (the guy who rips the ticket and points you to which screen you need to be at) who had a seizure and collapsed on the ground. Anyone with an ounce of common sense would be dialing 911 for this poor person, but noooooooo…….what did THESE examples of humanity do?
THEY WALKED OVER THE TOP OF HIM AND PROCEEDED TO THEIR MOVIE!
Please people…..if you go to a store right after opening, do NOT – I repeat – do NOT just buy some little stick of gum and a soda, then hand the poor cashier a $100 bill saying “That’s the smallest thing I have”.
I think that’s why many businesses now won’t take anything over a $50 bill (or even a $20 bill in some stores).